Letters Unsent
The dust motes danced in the weak morning light filtering through the gap in the heavy velvet curtains. Eleanor, still stiff and aching from the lingering phantom pains of her former death, rose from the vast, ornate bed. Sleep had offered little solace, the dreams a relentless replay of her past misery. She needed to feel in control, to establish the parameters of this…second chance.
She moved to the ornate writing desk tucked into a corner of the room. Its surface, a highly polished expanse of dark wood, was meticulously organized. Quill pens lay in neat rows beside pots of ink, and stacks of pristine vellum awaited her touch. It was a picture of domestic tranquility, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within her.
It was in the bottom drawer, tucked beneath a pile of impeccably folded linens, that she found them. A thick bundle of letters, tied together with a faded silk ribbon the color of dried roses. Her heart stuttered, a painful lurch in her chest. She recognized the handwriting immediately – a younger, more hopeful version of herself, a woman she barely remembered.
Her fingers trembled as she untied the ribbon. The top letter, yellowed with age and brittle at the edges, was addressed in elegant script: *To My Lord Beaumont*. She hesitated, a battle waging within her. Curiosity, a dangerous siren, urged her to read. But a stronger instinct, born of bitter experience, screamed at her to stop. To delve into these letters was to revisit a part of herself she desperately wanted to bury.
She closed her eyes, a wave of shame washing over her. She remembered the sheer desperation that had fueled those letters. The yearning for a connection with a man who treated her with polite indifference, a husband who saw her as an inconvenient necessity rather than a partner.
She had been so naive, so desperately eager to please. She had poured her heart out onto those pages, revealing her hopes, her fears, her loneliness. She had written of her dreams for their future, of the children she longed to bear him, of the love she so desperately wanted to share. And all of it had been met with silence. Or worse, with a curt, impersonal reply delivered by a servant.
With a sigh, she opened the first letter. The words jumped off the page, raw and vulnerable.
*"My Dearest Julian,*
*I hope this letter finds you well. I know you are busy with affairs in London, but I long for your return. The days here at Beaumont Manor are long and empty without you. I have taken to riding in the mornings, and the countryside is truly breathtaking. I wish you could see it with me. I also began a new embroidery project, a tapestry depicting our family crest. It would give me such joy if you would tell me what you think of it when you return.*
*I miss you terribly, Julian. I pray for your safe return each night.*
*Yours always, Eleanor."*
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. *Yours always.* What a pathetic, empty promise that had been. She flipped through the other letters, each one echoing the same desperate plea for attention, the same unwavering devotion that had been so cruelly unreciprocated.
The letters grew more desperate as time wore on. The elegant script became hurried, the tone increasingly pleading.
*"Julian, I am worried. You seem so distant lately. Have I done something to displease you? I beg you, tell me what I can do to make you happy. I only want to be a good wife to you."*
*"Julian, I feel so alone. The whispers have started again. They say…they say you spend your evenings in the company of Lady Annelise. Is it true? Please, tell me it isn't true."*
*"Julian, I am begging you. Please, just one evening. One evening where we can talk, where we can connect. I feel like a stranger in my own home, in my own marriage."*
The last letter was stained with tears, the ink smudged and faded. It was barely legible.
*"Julian, I am losing hope. I don't know what to do anymore. I love you, but I can't keep living like this. Please, give me something, anything. A word, a glance, a sign that you care. Please."*
Eleanor's hands shook as she finished reading. The pain was almost unbearable, a sharp, searing ache in her chest. She crumpled the last letter in her fist, her knuckles white. She had been so weak, so pathetic. How could she have allowed herself to be treated like that?
But then, she remembered the fear. The fear of disappointing her family, the fear of being cast aside, the fear of being alone. She had been trapped, a gilded cage her own making.
She stood up, her resolve hardening. She would not make the same mistakes again. She would not beg for affection. She would not waste her time and energy on a man who clearly did not value her.
She gathered the letters, the silk ribbon falling to the floor unheeded. She walked to the fireplace, the cold marble chilling her bare feet. The fire had died down to embers, but a single spark flickered within the ashes.
She knelt down and carefully placed the letters on the embers. The flames licked at the edges of the paper, hungrily consuming the words, the memories, the pain. The room filled with the acrid smell of burning paper, a fitting scent for the symbolic act she was performing.
As the letters turned to ash, Eleanor felt a sense of release. It was as if she were burning away the old Eleanor, the naive, heartbroken girl who had been so easily manipulated. She was severing ties to her past, freeing herself from the chains of her previous life.
She watched until the last ember faded, until nothing remained but a pile of grey dust. Then, she rose to her feet, her chin held high.
She would not repeat her mistakes. She would not be a victim. She would be strong, independent, and in control of her own destiny.
Even if that destiny included a husband who seemed determined to rewrite their shared history.
She glanced towards the door, half-expecting to see Julian standing there, observing her. But the hallway was empty, silent.
He was still an enigma, a puzzle she couldn't quite solve. His polite greetings, his unexpected kindness, his inexplicable attention – it was all so out of character. Was it a calculated act, a manipulation designed to lull her into a false sense of security? Or was there something more to it?
She pushed the thought aside. It didn't matter. Regardless of his motives, she would not let him control her. She would remain vigilant, detached, and prepared for the inevitable betrayal.
She walked to the window and drew back the heavy curtains, flooding the room with sunlight. She took a deep breath, the fresh air filling her lungs.
Today, she would focus on herself. She would ride, she would read, she would spend time with Clara. She would live her life, on her own terms.
And if Julian Beaumont chose to be a part of that life, then he would have to earn her trust. He would have to prove that he was truly a different man.
But until then, she would remain the reluctant duchess, a ghost in her own life, waiting for the inevitable.